Solid plan. Now to select a lieutenant and a theme song…
channeling Victoria Beckham in my plot to take over the library
There is only one thing that distinguishes month-long “sugar cleanses,” whole30, and choosing to go gluten free without having celiac disease from eating disorders: marketing.
It turns out the materials I was looking for in the rare book room last night weren’t ever even there. They are, in fact, not in our library and never have been and there was a whole discussion of this days ago but no one bothered to tell me that this task I had been given was a wild goose chase.
Surprisingly, I didn’t not burst into tears at this news but when my supervisor tried to laugh it off as so-and-so is loosing her mind I got real snappy and reminded him that she wasn’t the one that asked me to find a bunch of books and then forgot to tell me we don’t actually have them. I do not have time for this shit.
chicanachingona said: I’m sorry pumpkin :(
I’m ok, dear. Really. It was actually pretty cathartic and only mildly embarrassing after I realized no one was around.
I’ve known for weeks this was coming but couldn’t talk to anyone about it because a) no one else in the library was supposed to know and b) I’m weirdly superstitious and didn’t want to jinx his dream job. I’m going to try to channel my abundance of feelings into being proactive and taking charge and eventually just taking over the library. That’s my new plan: take over the library. I think it’s pretty solid.
So…I often want to cry at work but I have a personal Joan Holloway/Kelly Cutrone-inspired rule against actually doing so. Not that it never happens, just very rarely and as far as I know the only time anyone has born witness to my teariness is the period after I graduated library school and my grandfather died and there were daily outpourings of goodwill from my coworkers and, in response, what I like to think were ladylike outpourings of emotion from me.
Anyhoo, the last of my library buddies got a new job and I’m really, genuinely happy for him but it means a lot of changes for me. And, with the exception of loosing my buddy, these changes will probably (eventually) be good for me and my career and stuff but change is awful and I have a terrible feeling that, at least for a while, I’m going to get royally screwed over. Like, in theory I will take over some of his duties and someone else will be hired to take over the rest as well as some of my duties that don’t fit into my new role but the likelihood of that happening in a timely manner seems slim and I think I’m probably going to get stuck do all the things. And when they do hire someone I’ll have to train them on top of all the other things I have to do. And the duties I’ll be handing over are my easiest tasks while I’ll be taking on some complicated shit which is fine but the likelihood of me getting a raise with all this change is also pretty slim.
So I’ve been thinking about this for a while (he got the job offer yesterday but we’ve know it was coming for weeks) and then today I was in the rare book room looking for something and couldn’t find it because the guy in charge of those collections never re-shelves anything- the very same non-librarian guy who is our head of reference and doesn’t think we need a schedule- and the whole thing was too much for me and I just started sobbing in front of a pile- a fucking PILE- of rare manuscripts. Fortunately, everyone else left early today so no one saw this but it will definitely go down in the books as a low point.